100 Pun Wands

One hundred wands that are guaranteed to make your players roll their eyes!

1Wand of Disguise Self: Has one charge of Disguise Self
2Wand of Disguise Elf: Disguises the nearest elf as the wielder
3Wand of Dis Guy's Elf: Summons a house elf. Original owner may be annoyed.
4Wand of Diss Guys Elf: Summons an elf that criticizes all male characters for 1d4 hours
5Wand of Summon Familiar: Summons a small animal familiar for 1d4 hours
6Wand of Summon Familia: A family member of the wielder appears
7Wand of Some Unfamiliar: A cluster of unfamiliar people and objects appears around the wielder
8Wand of Counterspell: Has one charge of Counterspell
9Wand of Counterspell: A loud voice counts all the objects and creatures in the room
10Wand of Counterspell: Conjures a large kitchen work surface
11Wand of Feather Fall: Has one charge of Feather Fall
12Wand of Feather Fall: A single feather falls to the ground
13Wand of Unimaginable Power: Makes the wielder unable to imagine powerful things for 1d4 hours
14Wand of Unimaginable Power: Makes the wielder able to imagine power they could not previously imagine for 1d4 hours
15Wand of Remove Blind: Removes the Blinded condition
16Wand of Remove Blind: Removes all window coverings
17Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand: Creates a wand of create wand, which can create a wand of create wand, which creates a random wand
18Wand of Magic Missile: Has one charge of Magic Missile
19Wand of Magic Miss Isle: Summons a beautiful half-elf wizard woman wearing a sash declaring her the winner of this year's Magic Miss Isle pageant
20Wand of Bare Soul: Causes the target to unburden their soul and really open up for 10 minutes
21Wand of Bare Sole: Causes the target's footwear to vanish
22Wand of Bear Soul: Summons a spectral bear friendly to the wielder for 10 minutes
23Wand of Guise: Allows the wielder to assume the illusory guise of a creature they've seen in the last 4 hours for 1 hour
24Wand of Guys: Summons 1d4 guys. They are very confused about how they got there.
25Wand of Great Acts: Allows the wielder to perform great acts for 1d4 hours (DM discretion)
26Wand of Greataxe: Summons a greataxe. Everyone make a Dex save!
27Wand of Justice: Has one charge of Zone of Truth
28Wand of Just Ice: Conjures a lovely ice sculpture
29Wand of Mage Armor: Has one charge of Mage Armor
30Wand of Mage Armoire: Conjures a wardrobe full of wizard robes in a variety of colors and sizes
31Wand of Mage Amor: Causes the wielder to flirt with all spellcasters they encounter for 1d4 hours
32Wand of Hex: Has one charge of Hex
33Wand of Hecks: The target can only use PG swearwords for 1d4 hours. Oh, fork!
34Wand of Wave: Conjures a wave that crashes against the target (must make a Dex save or take 2d6 bludgeoning dmg and be moved 20ft backward).
35Wand of Wave: Conjures a spectral hand that waves enthusiastically at everyone for 1d4 minutes.
36Wand of Message: Allows the wielder to send a message of 20 words or less to anyone within a 50 mile radius
37Wand of Massage: The wielder feels relaxed and their tension headache is, like, totally gone!
38Wand of Speak With Plant: Has one charge of Speak With Plants
39Wand of Speak With Pants: Exactly the same effect as Speak With Plants. Except it's pants.
40Wand of Fog Cloud: Has one charge of Fog Cloud
41Wand of Frog Cloud: You create a mass of airborne frogs in a 20-foot radius centered on a point of your choosing within range for up to 1 hour.
42Wand of Flying: Has one charge of Fly
43Wand of Drying: All the wielder's clothes feel fresh out of the dryer.
44Wand of Lying: The wielder is incapable of telling the truth for 1d4 hours.
45Wand of Suggestion: Has one charge of Suggestion
46Wand of Suggestion: A voice gives the party helpful suggestions about what to do for 1d4 hours
47Wand of Dancing Lights: Has one charge of Dancing Lights
48Wand of Dancing Lights: Conjures a disco ball, flashing lights, and music with a sick beat
49Wand of Shocking Grasp: Has one charge of Shocking Grasp
50Wand of Shocking Gasp: A chorus of voices gasps dramatically whenever the wielder takes an action for 1d4 hours
51Wand of Color Spray: Has one charge of Color Spray
52Wand of Color Spray: Conjures a bottle of wash-out color hairspray (d4 = 1 - hot pink, 2 - blue, 3 - green, 4 - orange)
53Wand of Detect Thoughts: Has one charge of Detect Thoughts
54Wand of Detest Thoughts: Target has -1 Int for 1d4 hours and resents smarter characters
55Wand of Security: Locks any doors and windows in the area
56Wand of Security: Summons 1d4 security guards who try to throw everyone out of wherever they are right now
57Wand of Clear Thoughts: Target has +2 Intelligence for 1d4 hours
58Wand of Clear Thoughts: Target can't remember what they were about to say for 1d6 minutes
59Wand of Free Action: You can use this wand to take one additional action on a single turn.
60Wand of Free Action: You're not a number, you are a free character! Nobody can tell you what to do!
61Wand of Detect Thots: The user knows the location of any promiscuous women within 1d4 miles.
62Wand of Cone of Cole - summons 1d2 + 2 people named Cole. They are assembled in a cone shape, and disappear after 5 min.
63Wand of Portable Ram: Conjures a portable battering ram
64Wand of Portable Ram: Conjures a pocket-sized adult male sheep. He is adorable.
65Wand of Stickiness: Conjures a sticky patch in a 10ft radius around the wielder that counts as difficult terrain
66Wand of Sticky-ness: Wand transforms into an ordinary stick.
67Wand of Ultimate Magic: Conjures an item (d4 = 1 - bouquet of flowers, 2 - rabbit, 3 - string of silk scarves, 4 - a scroll that says 'ABRACADABRA')
68Wand of Disarming: Causes target to drop all weapons
69Wand of Disarming: Target’s arm falls off (effect at DM discretion if target does not technically have arms)
70Wand of Prestidigitation: Has one charge of Prestidigitation.
71Wand of Pestodigitation: Choose one - create smell of pesto, flavor up to 1 cubic foot of nonliving material pesto flavor for one hour, or make the recipe for pesto appear on an object or a surface for 1 hour.
72Wand of the War Mage: You gain +1 to your (spell) attack bonus and ignore half cover when attacking.
73Wand of the Warm Age: Can alter time for a 1' cube area. When activated (one charge), a time dilation field is produced. Over the span of one minute, the interior experiences 3 months of time, and is kept at a uniform 85 degrees F.
74Wand of Healing: Restores 2d6 + 2 HP.
75Wand of Heeling: charms all canine targets in a 30 foot radius.
76Wand of Heal -Ing: restores 4d4 + 4 HP, but only to targets that end in -ing, be it name or creature (halfling, wyrmling).
77Wand of the Jokester: cause glasses and a mustache to appear on a person's face, as well as enlarging their nose. Person must talk and act like Groucho Marx for 1d4 minutes while using the wand like a cigar. 'I've hurd of casting a charm spell but making some as charming as me? Now that's just unfair.'
78Wand of Silence: one charge of Silence
79Wand of Silence: Summons Specter Librarian who shushes anyone who speaks. Will attack anyone talking over a whisper after a few warnings. Librarian will not leave unless you sign up for a library card.
80Wand of Burning Hams: Summons 2d6 flaming hams that are flung at the target. Target must make a Dex save, taking 3d6 fire damage on a failed save and half as much on a successful one.
81Wand of Earning Hands: Gives the wielder advantage on Sleight of Hand checks for 1d4 hours.
82Wand of Cowhide Boots: Summons a pair of boots that give the wearer +5ft of speed.
83Wand of Cow Hide Boots: Cows and cow-like creatures become invisible to the wearer. Better hope you’re not fighting a minotaur!
84Wand of Invisibility: Casts Invisibility… on the wand.
85Wand of Cure Light Wounds: one charge of Cure Light Wounds.
86Wand of Sure Like Wounds: Grants recipient +1 to attack and damage for each 25% of HP they have lost. Effect lasts one minute
87Wand of Find Steed: one charge of Find Steed
88Wand of Find Steve: The caster must make a DC 10 Perception check to see a man named Steve nearby in the shadows. He seems ready to help do what he can. It is never clear whether Steve was summoned by the spell or just happened to be there at the right time.
89Wand of Hold Person: one charge of Hold Person
90Wand of Hold Person: a human man appears before the target, spreads his arms, and hugs them firmly yet tenderly.
91Wand of Old Person: the target ages to a venerable age for their race.
92Wand of Fireball: one charge of Fireball
93Wand of Fireball: conjures a fifth of spiced liquer
94Wand of Turn Undead: 1d4 undead turn 1d4 direction in unison
95Wand of Turn Undead: turns the target undead. If already undead, they turn into a different type of undead creature.
96Wand of Knowledge: grants 1 prophetic insight to the wielder
97Wand of No Ledge: a random ledge in a 50 foot vicinity disappears.
98Wand of Gnoll Edge: summons a snarky gnoll dressed in black leather with spiked hair.
99Wand of Cone of Cold: one charge of Cone of Cold
100Wand of Crone of Cold: summons any old lady who laughs knowingly before disappearing in a burst of ice. Anyone within 15 feet must make a Dex save or take 1d6 cold damage.